First Grade - Forgiveness
As I mentioned in my last post, everything changed in 1st Grade. I should have been making friends, beginning to grow academically, and receiving new adults into my life with some admiration and respect for them. But First Grade had a much different impact on my life. Those looks from my teacher. And as the kids caught on; those looks from my peers. There were some super nice kids. I remember them well. But they did not make the unkind kids less intimidating to me. Nor did they make my teacher seem any more friendly. They were a small comfort in my terrified state - and the weight of their kindness did not overcome the weight of all the bad. But a comfort they were. One day, I was terrified to come into the school after recess. Just terrified! There had been some threat. If you don't get your papers done ... ? I don't remember the threat, but I do remember the fear. I hadn't gotten it done. I stayed outside. At some point, I knew I had to come in, and terrified